all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
