so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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