I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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