I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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