Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
