I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
