you guys were way drunker than both of me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
