I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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