my phone needs a breathalizer
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
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