yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
