when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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