Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
