We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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