I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
