I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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