dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
