Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
