I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
