i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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