I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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