I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
