Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize