He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
