he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
