I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
