As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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