Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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