Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You are a genius and a whore.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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