Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
