Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
