Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
