Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
