Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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