at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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