I showed him my bush... on skype.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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