Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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