I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm too high and old for this...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
