so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
