i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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