I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
