just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
