Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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