420 ftw
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
