I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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