kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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