Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
White coat. Heels.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
