Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
