Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize