I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
