Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
