This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize