why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
