If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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