Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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