Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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