I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
