ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
