I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
