Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
